aum Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 Karlston, Disco Bob, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Karlston, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted February 7, 2023 Share Posted February 7, 2023 A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.". The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced". The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again." aum, funkyy, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 8, 2023 Share Posted February 8, 2023 For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. As he handed the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I went to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself this evening. We have sound now." ducky88, Karlston and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 Sidney telephones Rabbi Levy. He says, "Rabbi, I know tonight is Yom Kippur, but tonight the Yankees are in the playoffs. Rabbi, I'm a life-long Yankees fan. I've got to watch the Yankees game on TV." Rabbi Levy replies, "Sidney, that's what video recorders are for." Sidney is surprised. "You mean I can tape Yom Kippur?" ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her,Why did you cut off the end of the ham? And she replied ,I really dont know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to. Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, I really dont know, but thats the way my mom always did it. A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it? Her grandmother replied, Well dear, otherwise it would never fit into my baking pan. ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 9, 2023 Share Posted February 9, 2023 Legend ducky88 and aum 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 ducky88 and Karlston 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 Someone threw a bottle of mayonnaise at me yesterday. I was like, "What the Hellmann?!?!" Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? WIFE: I clean the toilet. HUSBAND: How does that help? WIFE: I use your toothbrush. funkyy, Karlston, digitaldon2 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 A teacher is trying to teach good manners to her third-grade students. She turned to her class and said, "Michael if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?” Michael said, “Just a minute, I have to go pee.” The teacher responded by saying, “Well, that would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?” Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” “That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you behave for once and show us your good manners?” Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.” That’s when the teacher fainted. Karlston, ducky88 and leapinlizards 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 10, 2023 Share Posted February 10, 2023 aum, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 11, 2023 Share Posted February 11, 2023 While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. Just a minute, I said, thinking of a quick solution. Ill put down newspapers. Thats all right, lady, he responded. Im already trained. ducky88, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 aum, ducky88 and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 Cows eat grass. They're lawn mooers. Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted February 12, 2023 Share Posted February 12, 2023 A woman walks into her social workers office, trailed by 15 kids . . .. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?' 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats. 'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.' 'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.' 'OK, and who's next?' 'Well, this one, he is Terry, also.' The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri. 'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?' Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes - it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come runnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry.' The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch 'I call them by their surnames!' Karlston and aum 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 13, 2023 Share Posted February 13, 2023 funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.