pc71520 Posted January 19, 2023 Share Posted January 19, 2023 funkyy, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 19, 2023 Share Posted January 19, 2023 I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites." "Why thank you," I replied. Then he concluded with, "You were mean to everyone.” pc71520, ducky88 and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted January 19, 2023 Share Posted January 19, 2023 On a Tesla ducky88, aum and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted January 20, 2023 Share Posted January 20, 2023 Q: What is an Alien’s favorite place on a Computer? A: The Space Bar. ducky88, Karlston, Lexionline and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 20, 2023 Share Posted January 20, 2023 Both my wife and I are bad cooks. Our cooking is so bad, that our kids have started praying after we've had dinner. ducky88, TrojanK and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 20, 2023 Share Posted January 20, 2023 A woman met her husband at the train station after work for the ride home. He looked haggard, so she asked, "Rough day?" "You bet it was," he groaned. "Our computers were down, and we had to think all day long." ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted January 20, 2023 Share Posted January 20, 2023 Taking selfies in the '90s ducky88, Akaneharuka, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted January 20, 2023 Share Posted January 20, 2023 ducky88, funkyy and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted January 21, 2023 Share Posted January 21, 2023 What did the Little Corn say to the Mama Corn? Where is Pop Corn? aum, Karlston and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted January 21, 2023 Share Posted January 21, 2023 funkyy, aum and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk & never come back! I asked him how he was coping and he said, "Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff." Karlston, lurch234 and aum 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 (edited) via GIPHY Edited January 22, 2023 by Karlston fix image Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets. We're one short." ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Carlos told his wife he wanted a guitar to play while sitting in the Jacuzzi. “The next day she bought him an electric guitar.” ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 (edited) A 5-year-old son Little Johnny after reading the story of a king. Johnny: Mom, I also want 3 wives. one will cook, one will sing, and one will bathe me. Mom: And which one will put you to sleep? Johnny:..No mom, I will still sleep with you…Mom’s eyes filled up with tears … God bless you, son. Mom:…but who will sleep with your 3 wives. Johnny: Let them sleep with daddy. Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears… God bless you, son! Edited January 22, 2023 by aum Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp. “What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender. “Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy. “That little squirt, O’Conner,” says Sean, “He couldn’t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.” “That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a terrible Iickin’ he gave me with it.” “Well,” says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn’t you have something in your hand?” “That I did,” said Paddy, “Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, but it didn’t help much.” ducky88 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 I won't tell anyone if I win the lottery but there will be signs aum and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 funkyy, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 -Teacher: How much is a Gram? -Student: It depends on what you need... ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited." Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing." pc71520, ducky88, Karlston and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 Crossing my fingers aum, ducky88, Disco Bob and 3 others 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because they're upside down," says Paddy. "You daft fool," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!" Karlston, pc71520, lurch234 and 3 others 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 (edited) 17 hours ago, ducky88 said: Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says, "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because they're upside down," says Paddy. "You daft fool," replies Murphy, "save 'em for the ceiling!!" I think they are not Irishmen but blondies!!! Edited January 24, 2023 by vitorio pc71520, kaloo1995 and ducky88 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pc71520 Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 What did the Knife say to the Fork about the tough Steak? Don't worry, I will give it a stab... ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted January 24, 2023 Share Posted January 24, 2023 We put our dog on a vegan diet, and she's doing really well. She's eaten two so far. Karlston, leapinlizards and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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