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[JOTD] Joke of the day


rudrax

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Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

 

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one.

All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

 

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger, Again he is ready for more ‘action’.

Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling.

When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

 

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’.

And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.

I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once.

You are truly a great lover, Roger.’

 

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says:

‘You mean I was here already?’

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A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe.

 

He spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes.

 

One day, the Chief’s wife gives birth to a white child!

The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock.

The chief pulls the professor aside and says.

“Look, you’re the only white man we’ve ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”

The professor replied.

“No, Chief. You’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion.”

 

The chief was silent for a moment, then said.

 

“Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about that sheep and I won’t say anything more about that white child.”

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Finally found it

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A Blonde walks into a bar that has a sign marked: "For Men Only".


"I'm sorry, ma'am," says the Bartender. "We only serve men in this place."


"That's OK," says the Blonde. "I'll take two of them..." :tooth:

 

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And you complain about my barking?

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The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

 

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

 

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

 

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I photoshop animals into things as a hobby. Here's a Pineappowl.

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One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.

 

Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a pe*is. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

 

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

 

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."

 

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