Arachnoid Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 'Drag file here' not there any longer. Check you dont have the site blocked the Noscript/Adblock etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MagicSahar Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 aum, Karlston, Rainmaker and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?" His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer." ducky88 and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 There is a new virus going around with the name 'Work'. If you receive 'Work', from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail Or anywhere else, do not touch 'Work' under any Circumstances. This virus wipes out your private life completely! If you should happen to come in contact with this virus put on your jacket and take two good friends and go straight to the nearest pub. Order 3 drinks and after repeating 14 times, you will find that 'Work' has been completely deleted from your brain. Forward this virus warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you realize that you do not have 5 friends, this means that you are already infected by this virus and 'Work' already controls your whole life. Karlston and aum 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultrahub Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 Could lead too ... A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets with their rabbi for counselling. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together, like the rest of the world." "Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance sepa-rately." "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?" "No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden." "Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?" "Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah a good thing within marriage, to have children!" "What about different positions?" asks the man "No problem," says the rabbi "It's a mitzvah!" "Woman on top?" the man asks. "Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!" "Doggy style?" "Sure! Another mitzvah!" "On the kitchen table?" "Yes, yes! A mitzvah!" "Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?" "You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!" "Can we do it standing up?" "No." says the rabbi emphatically." "Why not?" asks the man. "Could lead to dancing!" Rabbi replied ducky88 and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 TrojanK, ultrahub, funkyy and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 So, there's the Super Bowl. After that, there's the Mega Bowl. Then, after that, there's the Giga Bowl. Anymore than that, though, would just be Tera Bowl Karlston, aum and funkyy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultrahub Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 Happy Valentine's Day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day! funkyy, TrojanK, Karlston and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 Yesterday I was asked out by 5 girls. Spoiler I was in the wrong bathroom. leapinlizards, funkyy, aum and 3 others 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around. They said no and slammed the door in my face! Parents can be real jerks. TrojanK, funkyy, ducky88 and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 Personal trainer just got 9 years for selling drugs. I've been going to him for years. Just shows that you never really know someone. Spoiler I had no idea he was a personal trainer. funkyy, ducky88, TrojanK and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 A sign in a shoe repair shop that read We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you. At an Optometrist's office If you don't see what you are looking for you have come to the right place On a plumber’s truck We repair what your husband fixed. On another plumbers truck Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber At a tire shop Invite us to your next blowout On an electrician’s truck. Let us remove your shorts At a car dealership The best way to get back on your feet miss a car payment. Outside a muffler shop No appointment necessary we here you coming. At the electric company. We would be delighted if you pay your account on time However if you don't you will be de-lighted In a radiator shop Best place in town to take a leak. Sign on the back of a septic tank truck. Caution - This truck is full of political promises. TrojanK, vitorio, Karlston and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainmaker Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 // R Karlston, funkyy and ducky88 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Go knock yourself out!” aum and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 An old couple were talking. The wife asked her husband, "How many women have you slept with?" "Only you, Darling,” the man replied proudly. “With all the others I was awake." Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 A guy sees an advertisement in a pet-shop window: "Talking Centipede $100." The guy goes in and buys it. He gets home, opens the box and asks the centipede if he wants to go for a beer. The centipede doesn't answer, so the guy closes the lid, convinced he's been swindled. Thirty minutes later he decides to try again. He raises his voice and shouts, "Do you want to go for a beer?" The centipede pokes his head out of the box and says, "Pipe down! I heard you the first time. I'm putting on my shoes!" ducky88, vitorio and Karlston 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducky88 Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 Wanda an ugly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her dull unexciting life. She wished for luck that would turn her weary dull life into something awesome. So, Wanda looked to the high heavens and closed her eyes. When she opened them a Fairy Godmother was standing in front of her. I will gift you three wishes said the Fairy Godmother. "Well," said Wanda, "I guess I'd like to be rich." POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her house into a mansion full of gold! "And of course I'd like to be a very beautiful woman." POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her into an exquisite lady. Sexy, stunning and voluptuous. "Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a macho handsome man. The kind everyone would want and he and I will remain lovers forever. POOF (and Fairy Godmother was no more): There, in front of her stood the most handsome man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten. Wanda exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, come here and make love to me now!" As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear and whispered, "I bet you’re sorry you had me neutered... Make love to you huh! aum and funkyy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akaneharuka Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 Karlston, ducky88, funkyy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 scarabou, ducky88, funkyy and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 A co-worker asked me, “Could you be any more annoying?” So the next day I wore tap shoes to work. Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!" The husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?" scarabou, ducky88 and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago." Karlston and ducky88 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish manse. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning. At Mass, he asked the congregation "Has anybody got a cock?" - all the men stood up. "No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?" - all the women stood up. "No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them." - half the women stood up. "No No" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?" - all the nuns stood up. ducky88 and Jogs 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted February 18, 2022 Share Posted February 18, 2022 aum, funkyy, ducky88 and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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