PLASMA Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SwissMiss Posted June 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 1, 2019 (edited) Edited June 1, 2019 by SwissMiss Karlston, Matrix, PetaOctet and 4 others 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwissMiss Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 (edited) Edited June 1, 2019 by SwissMiss Karlston, Pequi, Abacaxi and 3 others 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetaOctet Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 Karlston, SwissMiss, Matrix and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 An 8 year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your kid to work Day'. As they walked round the office she started crying and getting cranky. Her father asked what was wrong. As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?" Abacaxi, Pequi and Karlston 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked. Abacaxi, Karlston and Pequi 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull." Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Jennie, pull." Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull." And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!" Pequi, Abacaxi and Karlston 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 (edited) 9 hours ago, SwissMiss said: She must be a blondie. Maybe the hair is dyed. Edited June 1, 2019 by vitorio Abacaxi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Karlston Posted June 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted June 1, 2019 So, Alex sees an ad in the newspaper that says “Circus Looking for New Talents”. Alex says to himself, “Eh, what the hell. I’m pretty talented,” and calls the circus. A lady answers him. “Hello,” she says. “Hi, is this the circus?” “Yes.” “I’ve heard you’re hiring.” “You’ve heard correctly, sir. What is your name?” “Alex.” “Alright then, Alex, what makes you think you can join the circus?” “Well, I have several talents... for example, I can shoot a three-pointer in basketball, like five times in a row.” “O... Okay... That’s quite impressive, sir, but it’s not really not what we’re looking for. I think maybe you should call the NB...” “No, no, wait! I... I can hula hoop for like 30 seconds straight!” “Sir, I really don’t think you understand what the concept of a cir...” “No, please, I... I... I can jump on one leg while saying the alphabet backwards!” “...” “...” “Goodbye, sir.” She hangs up the phone. Alex sits there for like five seconds until he realizes he forgot something. “Oh shoot! I forgot to tell her I’m a horse!” Abacaxi, The AchieVer, PetaOctet and 4 others 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v3n0m Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 Farmer#1: I used to have a nice chicken farm until they all died. Farmer#2: Really, thats too bad, what happened? Farmer#1: I think I planted them too deep. PetaOctet, Karlston, Pequi and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abacaxi Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 v3n0m, Karlston, PetaOctet and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetaOctet Posted June 1, 2019 Share Posted June 1, 2019 Karlston, Shadowx, v3n0m and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwissMiss Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Karlston, Radpop, v3n0m and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetaOctet Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 Karlston, SwissMiss and v3n0m 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 A contestant, Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. The question was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?’ Is it: 1) the condor 2) the buzzard 3) the cuckoo 4) the vulture The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly : 'That's easy. The answer is 3)... the cuckoo.' The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And, considering her friend was a blonde, that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. 'I need an answer,' said the host. Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, '3) The cuckoo.' 'Is that your final answer?' 'Yes, that is my final answer.' And the host replied, 'That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!' Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars. 'Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant. 'How did you happen to know the right answer?' 'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.' Sally fainted........................... SwissMiss, vitorio, The AchieVer and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vitorio Posted June 2, 2019 Share Posted June 2, 2019 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Karlston said: Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks. Definitely she is blondie! Edited June 2, 2019 by vitorio Karlston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetaOctet Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Karlston and SwissMiss 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwissMiss Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (edited) Edited June 3, 2019 by SwissMiss PetaOctet and Karlston 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwissMiss Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (edited) Edited June 20, 2019 by SwissMiss Karlston and PetaOctet 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetaOctet Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 SwissMiss 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Energex is an electricity provider in SE Queensland, not far away from me. Radpop, PetaOctet, Matrix and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlston Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 22 minutes ago, Mach1 said: I don't blame him they breed some mean chickens up your way mate 😄 That's very emusing. Matrix 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwissMiss Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Karlston, PetaOctet and Radpop 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetaOctet Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Karlston, SwissMiss, aum and 2 others 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aum Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 "I bet you don't know what day this is", said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: "Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?" With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation. His wife was indeed surprised: "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed, "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!" Karlston, PetaOctet and Pequi 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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