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The Stupidist, Least Funny Jokes in the World - Laffy Taffy Jokes


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How do you mend a broken jack o' lantern? -- with a pumpkin patch.

Where did the kittens go on the class trip -- to the meow-seum.

What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? -- a watchdog

What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? -- shore

What kind of brush do you use to comb a bee's hair? -- a honey comb

How do you get a peanut to laugh? -- you crack it up

Why did the farmer bury all his money? -- to make his soil rich

Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? -- a poul-tree

Where does a penguin keep his money? -- in a snow bank

Why did the reporter go into the ice cream shop? -- he wanted to get the scoop

Why was it hard for the geometry teacher to walk? -- she broke her angle

What kind of trees sew? -- pine trees, they always have needles around

What did the plate say to the other plate? -- lunch is on me.

What did the man say when the picture fell on his head? -- I've been framed!

How do you turn soup into gold? -- add 24 carrots (karats)

What do you do if a rhino charges you? -- Give him your credit card.

Why did they bury the battery? -- Because it was dead.

What do sneezes wear on their feet? -- ahh-shoes

What do wolves say when they are introduced? -- howl do you do?

What did the sink say to the water faucet? -- you're a real drip

Where do pigs park their cars? -- in a porking lot

Why did the banana leave the cinema? -- the film didn't appeal to him.

Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry? -- because his mother was a 'wafer' so long.

Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? -- He found a leek there.

What do you call a crab who plays baseball? -- a pinch-hitter

Whats green and fluffy and comes from mars? -- a martian mellow

How do you cut a man on the moon's hair? -- eclipse it

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? -- time to get a new fence.

What is green, red, and runs 100 mph? -- a frog in a blender

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? -- a dead school bus

Why did the man throw his margarine? -- he wanted to see the butter fly

What did the finger say to the thumb? -- I'm in glove with you

What's brown and sticky? -- a stick

What's red and not there -- no tomatoes

What has 10 letters and starts with gas? -- Automobile.

Where does a general put his armies? -- In his sleevies.

What did the man say when he walked into a bar? -- "Ouch."

What are the strongest days of the week? -- Saturday and Sunday; every other is a weekday.

Why is it so hard to play poker in the jungle? -- Because there are so many cheetas.

What is the best time to see the dentist? -- Two thirty! (Tooth hurty)

Why dont seagulls fly over the bay? -- Because then they would be bay-gulls.

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