Noddy Posted January 1, 2008 Share Posted January 1, 2008 Some Noobies!!!!Actual telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the U.K!Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?Customer: A white one...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note...Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?Customer: Hello... I can't print.Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: I have problems printing in red...Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?Customer: No.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: And now hit F8.Customer: It's not working.Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 feet away.Customer: OKHelpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?Customer: YesHelpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, the number '7.'Customer: Is that '7' in capital letters?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long itwill take before you can help me?Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Helpdesk: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.Helpdesk: OK, and what seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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