"The Amazing Photographer And His Canon Camera"

[Noddy]

The Amazing Photographer And His Canon Camera

The Smiths are unable to conceive children and decide to use a surrogate father to start off their family. On the day the substitute father is to arrive, Mr. Smith kisses his wife goodbye saying, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here anytime now."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happens to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, Ma'am", he says, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cuts in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" says the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I are hoping for. Please come in and take a seat"

After a moment, she asks with a blush, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it never worked out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasps Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," says Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opens his briefcase and pulls out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he says.

"Oh, my Gosh!" Mrs. Smith exclaims, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asks Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" says Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replies. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leans forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be handheld for long."

And then . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mrs. Smith faints!

[pustime]

:) B)

[Bolt_Gundam510]

:blink: :clap:

:rofl: :clap: :clap: now that was good in deed.

[rashad]

nice one

[Zeus_Hunt]

This happened to me once :rofl: :blink:

[dock98]

ah the dreams and bullshit of youth

[Noddy]

Hey guys, you're welcome!!!!