Funny Quotes

[shought]

I collected some funny quotes, i thought i'd make a nice list of them here. If you have any to add post them!

'A teacher asked a kid to prove the law of gravity, what'd the kid do? He threw the teacher out of the window.'

'I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.'

'I can resist everything except temptation.'

'Crazy is a relative term in my family!'

'DON'T STEAL: The government hates competition.'

'An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can wish for; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.'

'Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.'

'The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.'

'42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.'

'The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.'

'Don't drink and drive; you might spill your beer.'

'Consciousness: that annoying time between being wasted and taking naps.'