The quirks of the English language.

[LeetPirate]

ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE!!! :-)

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,

But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England ..

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,

we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,

and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,

grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends

and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why isn't it preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language

in which your house can burn up as it burns

down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,

and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

[myidisbb]

english language has lots of words from other languages mostly from when they where conquered for a while.

[KotaXor]

We have twenty nails which cannot be nailed.

We have two nipple but no milk

We have a belly button which cannot be unbutton.

We have two balls which cannot rolls.

And a cock which cannot crow!

The ironic of it!

A pussy which cannot catch rats!

[Night Owl]

That's the English language for you.

By the way, hamburger is well named when you consider that it is derived from the German city of Hamburg — hamburger is an adjective describing something from Hamburg. The same holds true for frankfurter (from Frankfurt) and wiener (from Wien, or Vienna). Source

[DKT27]

:lmao: :thumbsup:

[*dcs18]

@ KotaXor :lmao:

Just made few changes in the grammar:-

We have twenty nails which cannot be nailed.

We have two nipple but no milk

We have a belly button which cannot be unbuttoned.

We have two balls which cannot roll.

And a cock which cannot crow!

The irony of it!

A pussy which cannot catch rats!

[KotaXor]

Hey...this topic is for LeetPirate!

I only added in my few cents worth of shit.lol.