Jump to content

UPGRADE!


Zeus_Hunt

Recommended Posts

UPGRADE!!!!!

(would enjoy more if you have UNIX knowledge)

A Software Engineer writes: -

Subject: Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

      Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all

other system activity.

      Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot efford to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3,Dance Drunk'n'Naked 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

      I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error "General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Un-installation will abort."

            Can you help me, please!!!

            Can you help me, please!!!

Reply from Tech. Support

    Dear Software Engineer,

          Ref: Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

      This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 i s not designed to do this. Some have tried

to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

    Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest u to use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system.

        Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend flowers 2.1, Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5 that will improve the performance of Wife 1.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to

cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.

Tech Support

:think: :P

I wonder If I will ever get an email like this....... :unsure:

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Replies 6
  • Views 2.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Rudeboy2025

:unsure: I've read this one before but its still funny.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • 2 years later...
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, installation of Husband 1.0 seems to have uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed such other undesirable programs as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0.and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do ????

Signed, Desperate

===========================

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will automatically download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background which will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Hot Food 3.0.

Good Luck, Tech Support

part II :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites


bearoninternet

They should teach this at school. :smartass:

Hehe, start with Mylife 1.0 beta and end with Wife 1.0 final.

So far, Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 still works flawlessly for me :innocent:

Have to use sandboxie though, Wife 1.0 won't let me run it since it's adware :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...