Why doesn’t capitalism produce good kettles?

[aum]

No, seriously, why?

Photo by Chelsea Kyle

 

I’m not obsessed with kettles, I swear. If it does the job, I’m happy. But do they “do the job”?

My cheap, amazing, kettle

Two years ago I bought a basic electric kettle for 19.99€. It came with a neat feature: water temperature selection. The feature makes for better drinks, helps the environment, and reduces electricity costs: the kettle pays for itself within 3 years.

 

But 6 months ago, the lid stopped opening properly.

 

I took to be repaired, but they said it was unrepairable and refunded me the 19.99€. They didn’t even let me keep the “broken” kettle.

 

“I’ll just buy the same kettle again”, I thought — but it was out of stock. There were 3 alternative products available: for 14€ (tiny), 25€ (flimsy), and 89€ (giant contraption for brewing tea).

 

“No worries, I’ll just buy the original kettle once it’s back in stock”. But it never came.

Searching for a similar kettle

So I set out to find another kettle with temperature control — but couldn’t find anything for that price. So I accepted that I’d have to pay more.

 

After a surprisingly frustrating search, I found a rather expensive kettle that seemed to be what I wanted. And then it arrived: it didn’t have a limescale filter:

 

Not exactly advanced technology

 

I was confused: how could a (very expensive) kettle not come with a filter? (When water boils, calcium precipitates. That’s why your kettle gets much more limescale than your water jug).

 

I returned that kettle, and bought another one (and checked that it had a filter).

Second attempt

Finally the second kettle arrived: but it had lights that made it look like a nightclub.

 

Not my idea of a nice cup of tea

 

The lights were so strong that we would need to unplug it before going to bed, otherwise the light came through across the hall and through the crack of the bedroom door! It also beeped so loudly that it startled us when it finished. I had to return it.

This is getting silly

Ok, I got ready to spend a lot on a proper kettle. I even wrote a list of requirements (!), to prevent more bad surprises:

• limescale filter
• no lights that keep you awake
• no obnoxiously loud BEEPS
• easy refill
• no strong plastic smell
• not be huge
• show water quantity
• swivel on the base
• 1.5L capacity
• not require multiple button presses just to boil water
• Bonuses: see and set the water temperature.

I couldn’t find any kettles anywhere, for any price, that met all the above requirements: only the first kettle in this story, the 19.99€ one that went out of production.

So why doesn’t capitalism produce good kettles?

It’s a genuine question I have.

 

I’ve come up with a few explanations, but none very convincing.

 

One thought is that consumers currently value form over function: there are lots of expensive sexy-looking kettles on Amazon that are just not functional — some cost over 1000€ (yes, one thousand) and they’re worse than my 19.99€ kettle.

 

So why do we, the consumers, value form over function? It seems to me that a kettle’s function is much more important than whether our guests are impressed by how it looks.

 

At the risk of being too philosophical, I think it’s because we have become quite materialistic, surrounding ourselves with unreasonably expensive products just for their appearance or brand. I just never imagined that trend would also reach kettles.

 

What are your own thoughts? (Besides “chillout, you kettle-obsessed lunatic”, which is of course very fair).

 

Oh, and if you’re wondering, recently my local ALDI offered a kettle that met most of the above requirements, and I very happily purchased it. The price? 19.99€.

 

What is it with 19.99€ kettles?!

 

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