The Owl Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Nicola Sturgeon was touring Perthshire in the First Minister’s chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumped out into the road. They hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Nicola in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead."You were driving, go and tell the farmer," says Nicola, ”I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.” The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face."My goodness, what happened to you?" asks Nicola.The chauffeur replies : "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.""What on earth did you say to them?" asks Nicola."I knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said, 'I'm Nicola Sturgeon’s chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.'” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeforever03 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Hilarious!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 She's definitely a walking advert for Mad Cow Disease. Nationalism?...one step away from Naziism. I'm a patriot..but not a Nationalist. :showoff: :showoff: :showoff: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 This made my day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Owl Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 I could tell you the one about Nigel Farage and his latest Book but the Pakistani members here might not get the British humour in it and I don't want to upset people so I wont post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodel Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Lets just get rid of the lot :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gipsy Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 She's definitely a walking advert for Mad Cow Disease. Nationalism?...one step away from Naziism. I'm a patriot..but not a Nationalist. :showoff: :showoff: :showoff:not quite right amigo.nationalism is love to your own nation,nazism is hate to another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Owl Posted April 10, 2015 Author Share Posted April 10, 2015 ifShe's definitely a walking advert for Mad Cow Disease. Nationalism?...one step away from Naziism. I'm a patriot..but not a Nationalist. :showoff: :showoff: :showoff:not quite right amigo.nationalism is love to your own nation,nazism is hate to another.If you heard some of Nicola Sturgeon's Rhetoric you would know she is closer to Nazism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gipsy Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 maybe it's case when one black sheep will mar a whole flock?i didn't hear about Nicola Sturgeon & above isn't my own mind ,just proverb what i totally agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 I could tell you the one about Nigel Farage and his latest Book but the Pakistani members here might not get the British humour in it and I don't want to upset people so I wont post it.Nigel Farage can read and write? lol :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 ifShe's definitely a walking advert for Mad Cow Disease. Nationalism?...one step away from Naziism. I'm a patriot..but not a Nationalist. :showoff: :showoff: :showoff:not quite right amigo.nationalism is love to your own nation,nazism is hate to another.If you heard some of Nicola Sturgeon's Rhetoric you would know she is closer to Nazism I know, but as a Scot I can tell you that many "Scottish Nationalists" have recently shown themselves to be full of hatred for anyone who dares to disagree with their desire for an Independent Scotland...three of their Party members publicly burned Opposition books (like the Nazis in the years leading up to the Second World War), their followers also have harassed, insulted and used intimidatory methods on those who dare to disagree with them..they are so desperate for Independence, but their kind of Independence where everyone must toe the Party line...just like Adolf and his goons. I couldn't vote in the Referendum that was held recently in Scotland (because I have been abroad for too many years), but if I had been allowed to vote I would have voted "No" to Independence. We should have stayed Independent 300 years ago, but we didn't, and you can't turn back the clock. The world is a different place now, Britain is an island and we can defend that island better as a union of England, Scotland, Wales (and Northern Ireland of course). Also the fact that Salmond talked through his ar*e, couldn't count financial figures, didn't do any thorough investigation before making pie in the sky statements about how Scotland's economy would boom based on our North Sea oil production....fortunately the Referendum ended with a "No" vote, and shortly afterwards the price of a barrel of oil fell from 110 dollars to 55 dollars, blowing a massive hole in his projections about Scottish wealth...we just avoided a humiliating economic meltdown no thanks to that incompetent fud. As for Sturgeon (notice they have fishy names "Salmond" "Sturgeon"?).....I suspect she's Salmond in drag!!! I´m proud to be Scottish and I have absolutely no problem being Scottish and British...there are too many extremists in the Scottish National Party ranks, believe me. :showoff: :showoff: :showoff: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Owl Posted April 11, 2015 Author Share Posted April 11, 2015 I for one am proudly British which includes ALL PARTS of the United Kingdom TOGETHER.I have quite a few Scottish friends and all are of similar thought to funkyy one point Salmon was working on North Sea oil being worth 130$ a barrel well we have all seen how that's worked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dMog Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 it is not like it was in bravehearts day,,,england is not england with out scotland.... no matter the country.... hard core partisan politics are not good for anyone :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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