Just to Upset the American Membership hehehehehe

[The Owl]

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. David Cameron MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up

"aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly

you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable

levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2009.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Oh and you certainly wont be worse off than you were under the Chimp.

[The Owl]

P.S. I have been re writing this for Years I think the firs one had Maggie for PM, hence the 2009 bit sorry should have edited it.

Now stop looking like a bull dog with a mouth full of nettles and laugh

[weylin]

... or just say "Thank You" to the country (United States) that bailed you (Britain and Europe) out of losing WWII.

Thank You! :)

[FreeRyde]

... or just say "Thank You" to the country (United States) that bailed you (Britain and Europe) out of loosing WWII.

Thank You! :)

You must've gone to school in the U.S.

[The Owl]

he must of Yes the USA helped the Rest of the world mainly the then British Empire which included Canada which we freely acknowledge the USA were very late comers to the party and only joined because Japan did the dirty on Pearl Harbour and you would be surprised how many US big businesses were helping Germany for a very long time. We probably could have done it on our own at much greater cost in human lives but since Germany was working on a V3 rocket which would have dumped explosives on the US homeland d shall we just call it enlightened self interest.

[The Owl]

P.S. weylin just look up when WW2 was declared and when the US joined in after Pearl.

[FreeRyde]

FDR does deserve major credit for the Lend-Lease Act.

While Lend-Lease generally saw goods being provided to the Allies, a Reverse Lend-Lease scheme also existed where goods and services were given to the US.

As American forces began arriving in Europe, Britain provided material assistance such as the use of Supermarine Spitfire fighters.

Additionally, Commonwealth nations often provided food, bases, and other logistical support.

Other Lend-Lease items included patrol boats and De Havilland Mosquito aircraft.

Through the course of the war, the US received around $7.8 billion in Reverse Lend-Lease aid with $6.8 of it coming from Britain and the Commonwealth nations.

Britain settled its World War II debts to the US and Canada with final payments in December 2006.

[clubhouse]

I still waiting for Steven Spielberg to make "How America Won The Battle Of Hastings" or "America Triumphed In The Battle Of Waterloo"

[weylin]

Here is my answer to the implication that I went to school in the U.S. Don't make up stuff!

Before officially joining the war the U.S. sent many hundreds of ships with supplies to Britain. Many were sunk by U-Boats.

At the start of WWII, the Brits had mostly WWI armaments and were no match for the Germans.

Britain was losing the war up until Monty and N.Africa.

The U.S. fought and defeated the Japanese mostly by themselves.

D-day would not have happened without the U.S.

Germany developed the V2 rocket that was a danger to London, but not the U.S.

The U.S. developed the atomic bomb that ended the war.

Without the U.S. Europe would be either part of Greater Germany or a Soviet State.

[The Owl]

CRAP

[weylin]

Now unbundle your knickers in your arse and laugh! :)

[majormalfunction]

:lol: Love it. Hey no-confidence votes in less than 4 yrs W00T :notworthy: My long-time gf is Canadian so I have a foot in both ways of doing things (holds an unopened bottle of Screech)

[jtmulc]

All in jest, I humbly reply

1-2. To thine own people shouldst thou seek to reproach regarding language. To quote Professor Higgins in My Fair Lady, "Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?". When everyone in England (we're not even going to talk about Scotland and forget about the Welsh) speaks using RP, then we'll talk. You have chavs, we have rednecks and white trash.
3. Guilty, and I have Aussie cousins and watch a lot of BBC.
4. NEVER! (OK, occasionally as Bond, but that is it)
5. There are no rockets and bombs in it, I doubt this will go over well.
6. The main reason your football has never gone over well here is we can't find a way to make it work with commercial TV. You can't run commercials during a break in the action because there is none, unless you count falling and flailing any time someone comes within 5 feet of a player.
7. Can't wage war upon Quebec, (1) because it's part of the Commonwealth and (2) because all the best hockey players come from there. The French are insufferable, but what do we do once we win it? Give it to the Germans?
8. Another dealbreaker. We love blowing things up.
9. There are a lot of Fords made and sold in the U.K.
10. We'd love to know, too.
Cheers.

[The Nude Dude]

oops!!!! we accidentaly nuked england

[The Nude Dude]

he must of Yes the USA helped the Rest of the world mainly the then British Empire which included Canada which we freely acknowledge the USA were very late comers to the party and only joined because Japan did the dirty on Pearl Harbour and you would be surprised how many US big businesses were helping Germany for a very long time. We probably could have done it on our own at much greater cost in human lives but since Germany was working on a V3 rocket which would have dumped explosives on the US homeland d shall we just call it enlightened self interest.

keep dreaming fools. if it wasn't for the ussr and the united states europe WOULD of lost ww2.