The Owl Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow.""I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."When the boy arrived home he told his mother.The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Mary had a little lamb....and the doctor fainted!!! (The old ones are the best!!!) :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Twenty flies swarm onto a dog turd in the street and start tucking in. After a couple of minutes one of the flies starts to look sick so his friend asks what's wrong. He replies "That fly over there is picking his nose and putting me off my dinner". :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Q) Why do women have legs?A) Have you seen the trail snails leave? :showoff: :showoff: :showoff: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Two friends are playing golf one day at their local course.One is about to chip onto the the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.He stops in mid-swing,takes off his golf cap,closes his eyes and bows down in prayer."Wow,that's the most thoughtful and touching thing I've ever seen" his friend says."You truly are a respectful man""Yeah,well," the other guys says,"we were married for 35 years" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 A blonde is playing Trivial Pursuit.When her turn comes she rolls the dice and lands on Science and Nature.Her question is:"If you're in a vacuum and someone calls your name,can you hear it?"She thinks for a minute then asks the other players,"Is it on or off?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roy W Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 A man finds an old bottle on a beach,rubs it and is astonished to see a pixie emerge."You look tense," the pixie says,"Would you like a back rub?""Well,I'd prefer a million dollars" the man says."I can't give you any money but how about I rub your back?""Well how about you fix me a date with a beautiful woman?""Sorry,can't do.But why don't I work on those shoulders of yours?""Can you make me taller? I'd really like to be taller""I can't.But lie down and I'll get started on your calf muscles""Hang on a minute,are'nt genies supposed to grant three wishes?""Who said I was a genie? I'm a MASSAGE in a bottle." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkyy Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Dyslexia rules K.O. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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