5 Mind Tricks to Tame Temptations

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5 Mind Tricks to Tame Temptations

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Psychologist Walter Mischel reveals research-backed ways to master self-control.

Walter Mischel knows what’s good for him. And it’s not chocolate mousse.

:lol:

Still, “the moment that the waiter comes with the dessert tray and it’s flashed under my nose, it soon winds up in my mouth,” the psychologist said at a discussion and book signing at Sixth and I synagogue in the District of Columbia last week.

Yes, even Mischel – the king of self-control research – has his vices.

But Mischel, a professor of psychology at Columbia University, also has something that most of us don’t: A decades-long career studying how, why and when we’re able to just say “no” to an immediate reward (say, an airy scoop of chocolate mousse) in favor of a longer-term and less tangible reward such as lower blood pressure or a smaller waistline. He’s well-known for his series of experiments in the 1960s and 1970s – dubbed “the marshmallow test” – which looked at children’s ability to give up a small reward (like one marshmallow) now for a bigger reward (like two marshmallows) later.

Now, in his new book “The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control,” Mischel lets us in on his and other researchers’ secrets to self-control. The good news? “The ability to delay immediate gratification for the sake of future consequences is an acquirable cognitive skill,” he writes. Here’s how:

1. Reframe the temptation.

When Mischel wants to resist the dessert platter at a restaurant, he plays a little game: He imagines that cockroaches snacked on the mousse when it was in the kitchen. Likewise, a smoker may envision the cigarette laced with poison, a drinker may pretend his beer has been spat in and a heartbroken woman may imagine her ex is really interested in men. “It’s amazing how quickly the temptation turns into something you’re not interested in,” Mischel said at the event, which was moderated by psychologist and 2013 MacArthur Fellow Angela Lee Duckworth, of the University of Pennsylvania.

For the children in some of Mischel’s studies, the strategy works, too. When presented with a treat such as a pretzel or a marshmallow, young study participants usually can’t wait for more than a minute before digging in. However, when a researcher suggests they imagine the treat isn’t real by putting a picture frame around it in their heads, they can hold off for an average of 18 minutes. Why? “You can’t eat a picture,” one 4-year-old told Mischel.

The point, Mischel writes, is that “the power is not in the stimulus, however, but in how it is mentally appraised: If you change how you think about it, its impact on what you feel and do changes.” And that, he said, “gives us enormous power.”

2. Practice.

Another strategy Mischel uses when he expects to be tempted by a rich chocolate treat is to make a plan and practice it. Before entering a restaurant, for example, he tells himself over and over that if the waiter brings a dessert tray, he’ll order the fruit salad. “If that’s rehearsed, it’s got a decent chance of actually working,” Mischel said. “If it’s not rehearsed, it’s the chocolate mousse that’s controlling me – not me controlling the chocolate mousse.”

Of course, even the best laid plans are frequently derailed. You won’t spend another night sitting on the couch – unless, of course, “Scandal” is on. You won’t have more than one brownie – unless, of course, no one else is going to eat the last one. You will turn your iPhone off at 9 p.m. – unless, of course, your boss pings.

But, Mischel assures, as with most things, practice makes better. “Over time,” he writes, “a new association or habit is formed, like brushing teeth before going to bed.”

3. Cool it.

In one experiment Mischel describes, children are asked to think about the treat in front of them in one of two ways: how it tastes – a chewy, sweet marshmallow, for instance – or how it looks – a soft, white sphere, for example. When kids thought about the more informational traits of the temptation – what psychologists call “cool” features – they waited twice as long for their reward as when they thought about its appealing qualities, known as “hot” features.

This strategy works not only because it helps keep you from salivating, but “thinking cool” actually activates different parts of your brain than thinking “hot.” And when one part is active, the other is less so. That’s why even smart, successful individuals can make impulsive, dumb decisions, Mischel said.

“It’s not that some of us can’t cool it and some of us can cool it, it’s rather that we have differences in where our hot spots are,” he said. “And what is very important when we’re trying to change ourselves, or when we’re trying to help our students or our children do better, is to identify where the hot spots are.”

4. Be a fly on the wall.

Another way to tap into your “cool” system when feeling hot and tempted is to pretend you’re a fly on the wall, or that you’re someone else – perhaps your better, future self. How would that person behave? Making a choice for someone else is easier than for yourself, Mischel writes.

One endearing story is a case in point: When preschoolers are asked if a smart child would choose a small chocolate now or a bigger piece later, the children say their smart peers would wait. But when asked to make a decision for themselves, they choose the small piece now. “They’re still confusing what they want with what’s good for them,” Mischel said.

Adults don’t have that problem; we know what’s good for us. The trick is doing it. And by making yourself a fly on the wall, you have a better shot at improving yourself – and your relationships, Mischel said.

“One of the things that messes up adult relationships is that we get angry at our spouses and our partners and our children, and we lose our tempers,” he said. “And in this regard, it’s extremely important to realize this … kind of self-distancing and stepping out of yourself can be enormously helpful in developing a set of skills and empathy that allow you to see the other side of the story.”

5. Look on the bright side.

In yet another iteration of Mischel’s classic experiment, researchers asked preschoolers attempting to wait for a larger treat to think about either something that made them sad or something fun. The kids who daydreamed about playgrounds and puppies waited nearly three times longer for their rewards than those who felt bummed.

“We are less likely to delay gratification when we feel sad or bad,” Mischel writes. “Compared with happier people, those who are chronically prone to negative emotions and depression also tend to prefer immediate but less desirable rewards over delayed, more valued rewards.”

It makes sense, he says, because optimists tend to think they’ll get what they’re waiting for, while pessimists doubt their future is so sunny.

[see: The Happiness Racket: When the Pressure to Be Happy Makes You Miserable.]

VIA THE LINK BELOW...

So consider your glass half-full, and fill it with this: Even Mischel doesn’t endorse being a beacon of self-conelf-control, it seems to me, is as sad as a life that has no self-control.”

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2014/10/06/5-mind-tricks-to-tame-temptations

[VileTouch]

mmm i could use some delicious maple glazed bacon right about now :P