Atasas Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment........ NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toshiro Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 :clap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock Lee Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 :yes: wow. If this is real I might do one like it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shought Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 This is great :smoke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bolt_Gundam510 Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 at the fast food place i used to work, if you had pop corn, sock, bean dip for brains and could open your eyes you had a job there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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