Star Wars Poem

[eBait]

There once were two ships that were flying through space
And on one of those ships was a guy with no face
True evil he was, and his black mask did show it
Chasing his daughter, but he did not yet know it

The princess was scared and knew not what to do
So she stuck some weird card in a droid called Artoo
The card contained facts that were so confidential
To the Empire these plans were so purely essential

The droids got away, but the Princess did not
And the droids wound up stuck in a place that was hot
Stolen by Jawas, subsequently sold
What sort of adventure was soon to unfold?

Luke Skywalker, living with Artoo's new owner
Was young and naive and a bit of a loner
Stuck with the job of cleaning the droids
A message came out that no sane man avoids

A girl so gorgeous that Luke would have kissed her
If only he knew this chick was his sister
The message she sent via Artoo's light scope
"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope"

This guy called Kenobi who lived in the canyons
Turned out to be one of Artoo's best companions
But what Luke would learn when he met this whoever
Was something that would change his life forever

This guy Obi Wan was just getting too old
And Luke had grown weary of being controlled
He could have stayed back but he figured why bother
I'll go be a Jedi, and be like my father

Mos Eisley was now the next destination
But the Empire was already on the plantation
The Empire had smarts, but Obi Wan had more
These weren't the droids they were looking for

When they met Han Solo, he was quite the cock
And Luke's flying skills he soon would mock
But Obi Wan's offer could not be refused
Han Solo's debt would soon be defused

Off into space, things soon got screwy
Han Solo knew it as did his friend Chewie
Approaching a moon with some trepidation
That's not a moon, it's a space station

A tractor beam sucked the ship right inside
But Han and the gang had enough smarts to hide
What Luke soon found out was just too much to bear
The girl in the message was in here somewhere

Disguised as a Storm Trooper, Luke could not wait
To see this chick here in Block 1138
Getting in was easy, but Luke heeded Han's shout
"We're gonna have company!" There was no way out.

Into the garbage chute, all of them fled
But soon the compactor would make them see red
Good thing that Artoo was so well endowed
He stopped the compactor and made his fans proud

The final escape to a hidden base
The Princess was finally at home in her place
But now those confidential plans came out
This thing that the Empire built had some clout

The plans did suggest that there could be a way
To send this big monster straight to the ash tray
Han Solo did not will his help to provide
He thought this whole mission was mass suicide

But Luke had his faith, he believed in the Force
Time for some smackdown, no time for remorse
The ships were so small they evaded quite well
Till Vader sent smaller ships to give them hell

One by one, the Rebels did go down
Explosions so cool that you just couldn't frown
Till Luke found himself all alone in the pass
With one chance for a shot and three guys on his ass

Daddy took shots but he kept aiming wrong
Puzzling, with this one the Force was sure strong
Finally he managed to singe Artoo
This was his big moment, then it would be through

The sights were set, Daddy pulled the trigger
But what he hit was something much bigger
While looking to see what this was all about
Daddy tipped his wingman and spun himself out

You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing
And go home, Han said to the battered X-Wing
One single shot, went in like a breeze
And the fireworks show was sure to please

And this was the Rebels' first big victory
But there is much more to the story, you see
Luke's future, Han's past, and Vader's big present
All came in the sequels which were really quite pleasant

I'd do all three movies if I had the time
But the flicks already are far too sublime
For weirdos like me to wreck them like this
It is now time that myself I dismiss.

I thought it was very nice... for SW fans