alcylon Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour.COMMUNISMYou have 2 cowsThe State takes both and gives you some milk.FACISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.TRADITIONAL CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.VENTURE CAPITALISMYou have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, and then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.AN AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.A FRENCH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.AN ITALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows, but you do not know where they are.You decide to have lunch.A SWISS CORPORATIONYou have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.A CHINESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.AN INDIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You worship them.A BRITISH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Both are mad.AN IRAQI CORPORATIONEveryone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATIONYou have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive.A GREEK CORPORATIONYou have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.You eat both of them.The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.The IMF loans you two cows.You eat both of them.The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.You are out getting a haircut.AN IRISH CORPORATIONYou have two cowsOne of them is a horse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fantastic Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 The Greek one is tough one ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GRiM Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 The Greek one is tough one ...Truth is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanjoa Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 AN ARGENTINIAN GOVERMENTYou have two cowsWe buy you the milk paying a few cents but in markets it cost the same as gasoline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dMog Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 you forgot the old west...you have two cows your neighbor takes one..you have tow cows and dead neighbor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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