April Fools Pranks

[nsane.forums]

So there has been loads of Gags, please post the ones you found the best!

iMc

In one of today’s more surprising announcements, Apple and McDonald’s are today partnering in a cross-brand product effort.

The two companies said that they are looking to leverage the similarities of each other’s brand to expand their respective client bases. Both companies had been in talks since late 2003 when a deal to distribute iTunes with Happy Meals fell through, making this deal more than half a decade in the making.

“We realized the overlap when we started selling the new 13- and 15-inch Unibody MacBooks last October. During our busy holiday season, customers would come in looking for the 17-inch version asking if we had the Big Mac,” explained Pullman Legwand, an Apple Genius at Apple’s flagship Apple Store.

The confusion eventually lead customers to McDonald’s restaurants, where they would express their desire for Apple products, only to be sold apple slices with caramel dip.

Apple and McDonald’s marketing teams saw the problem and came together to create a brand new product that would effectively bridge the two company’s clientele: the iMc.

The iMc is an all new food menu item that combines McDonald’s food-making-mastery and Apple’s simplistic and elegant design cues. Doing away with the traditional fixings in a burger that would distract from the overall experience, the iMc contains no ketchup, mustard, cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, or meat.

“We’re proud to carry the iMc as part of our permanent menu. The no-frills nature of the iMc represents the next evolution of fine dining,” said Joseph K. Ng, McManager at McDonald’s. “It’s just like the new iPod Shuffle.”

The news hit early in the day before Wall Street opened shop, but already stock analysts are seeing this as a “quick win” for the fast food restaurant giant.

“Before the advent of the boutique coffee shop with its fancy baristas, McDonald’s was the hang out of choice for the young and fashionable,” quipped analyst Lisa Tuu. “Through its partnership with Apple, McDonald’s will likely bring yuppie MacBook-owning crowd back to enjoy a milkshake instead of their usual grande-quad-ristretto-nonfat-no whip-vanilla-latte-in-a-venti-cup.”

Source

[Lite]

How can we forget our freind Google?

gBall™

This weekend around the country, the gBall(BETA) will change Australian rules football as we know it.

Building on our core strength in search, Google was approached by a number of Australian rules football leagues to apply our technology in their search for new talent. In response, Google, in partnership with the official supplier of matchballs to the AFL, Sherrin, has developed the gBall. Incorporating specially developed Google technology, it will be used in all school and amateur competitions - and will go on sale to the public - this weekend.

Users can plug in and register their gBall online, using a simple interface. The gBall contains inbuilt GPS and motion sensor systems to monitor the location, force and torque of each kick. The data is interpreted by a new curvilenear parabolic approximation algorithm developed in Google's Sydney office, known as DENNIS ("Dimensional, Elastic, Non-Linear, Network-Neutral, Inertial Sequencing"), which plots the ball's trajectory, accuracy and distance.

Using artificial intelligence technology, Google can provide users - from amateurs to professional players - with detailed online kicking tips, style suggestions and tutorials based on their gBall kicking data.

Kicking data is also sent to national talent scouts and player agents. The gBall will vibrate if talent scouts or player agents want to make contact with the user. Users can log in to their gBall account to make contact.

As an added bonus, anyone who misplaces his or her gBall will be able to search Google Maps to locate it.

Source

Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE)

Research group switches on world's first "artificial intelligence" tasked-array system.

For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster.

Since then progress has been rapid, and tonight we're pleased to announce that just moments ago, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) was switched on and began performing some initial functions. It's an exciting moment that we're determined to build upon by coming to understand more fully what CADIE's emergence might mean, for Google and for our users. So although CADIE technology will be rolled out with the caution befitting any advance of this magnitude, in the months to come users can expect to notice her influence on various google.com properties. Earlier today, for instance, CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.

These are merely the first steps onto what will doubtless prove a long and difficult road. Considerable bugs remain in CADIE'S programming, and considerable development clearly is called for. But we can't imagine a more important journey for Google to have undertaken.

Source

[Atasas]

http://www.nsaneforums.com/index.php?showtopic=18325&hl= :win:

[Lite]

But that ones only for the "Special Ones" :)

Please no information about that one :win:

[Atasas]

Ditto!