Having a Bad Day? Try This

[Win7nerd]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying, “Hello”. I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?” Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!” It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic ‘asshole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with the Caller ID program?” He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me.

I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his! car window - so, I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Can you tell me where I can see it?”

“Yes. I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house, and the car’s parked right out in front.”

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.

“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”

“I’m home every evening after five.”

“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”

“Yes?”

“Don, you’re an asshole.”

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be.

So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

“Hello.”

“You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up).

“Are you still there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Stop calling me,” he screamed.

“Make me,” I said.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Don Hansen.”

“Yeah? Where do you live?”

“Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beemer parked in front.”

He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”

I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole.”

Then I called Asshole #2.

“Hello?” he said.

“Hello, asshole,” I said.

He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are?”

“You’ll what?” I said.

“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.

I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.

There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

NOW, I feel better.

[Fluffy]

Why be such an asshole to these assholes? :/

[calguyhunk]

LMFAO! :lmao: That's what you do when you get bored so easily :rockon:

[speedy57]

[majithia23]

Please , confirm it was for real ! :D :lmao:

Makes me remember something of the same sort of incident or rather a prank i played a few years back .

Actually i dint start the prank , but just happened to be IN it and so i finished it

A bunch of guys and me were hanging out in college over a few beers one evening. All were pretty buzzed . And just then i received a wrong call .

" Hello , Is it Nathu Lal Sweets shops ? "

Me - " Yes , what can i do for you ? "

Wrong number - " Yes this is Mr xyz and I just wanted to request you kindly prepare 50 boxes of sweets more instead of 200 and please have it ready on time , that is by sharp 10 AM "

Me - " Ok , sir . No problem . Noted . Do you want me to deliver the boxes or should you send some one ? "

Wrong number -" Ok , please if you can send it over ."

Me - " Ok sir . I ll make sure to deliver the 250 boxes by 10 AM sharp ! "

:P :D

Wonder what ever happened to that guys sweets order !!!

[calguyhunk]

Happens. We used to get calls on our landline a long while back asking whether it's the number for Salt Lake Stadium :o

I used to normally politely tell them no, but once, just before an East Bengal-Mohun Bagan game, the frequency of those calls gained so much momentum, that out of sheer annoyance, I started telling them that they're in the right place and tickets are indeed available and that, they'll get their tickets once they're at Gate No. xyz :hehe:

Those days, the 'Derby' was almost always sold off much before game day. The poor guys almost inevitably went back empty handed cursing my entire family :P

But hey, in my defense, I wasn't the one who couldn't even type a number right! :lol:

[DKT27]

My mother used to regularly get calls on landline from Boman Irani. :eek: She says it's the exact voice, accent. Living in a Gujarati concentrated area/station (and that type of landline number), it is quite common to have wrong number calls from Gujarati speaking people.

Either way, why I'm saying this, is because me being a guy who can make outstanding voices of lot of guys, have since then decided that if I ever pick up the phone, I'll make sure that whenever Boman Irani will call, he will speak to one and only Lalu Prasad Yadav. :lol:

[calguyhunk]

My mother used to regularly get calls on landline from Boman Irani. :eek:

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: That just made my day. I almost fell over laughing the moment I saw that. Didn't even have to read the rest of the post :lol:

I'll make sure that whenever Boman Irani will call, he will speak to one and only Lalu Prasad Yadav. :lol:

Arre o babua! Ye tu angreji ma ka chapar chapar karat ho bhaaya? Ye haamra samaj ma nahi aawat haai :P :lol:

[Shadowx]

This just make my day

[DKT27]

I'll make sure that whenever Boman Irani will call, he will speak to one and only Lalu Prasad Yadav. :lol:

Arre o babua! Ye tu angreji ma ka chapar chapar karat ho bhaaya? Ye haamra samaj ma nahi aawat haai :P :lol:

:lol: :rofl:

Thing is, I'm not great with the actual Bihari / Bhojpuri language, but I can get the accent right. :)

[dcs18]

I used to get a wrong call from somebody so regularly that I actually saved his name in my address-book.

It's now been a good 6 months since I last heard from him - probably must've deleted the number from his address-book or decided to pass away. :pope:

[Nima]

You are genius, man. :lol:

It was awesome! ^_^

[calguyhunk]

:lol: :rofl:

Thing is, I'm not great with the actual Bihari / Bhojpuri language, but I can get the accent right. :)

LOL! Me neither :hehe: That bit is the result of watching too many of Lalu uncle's interviews over the last few years :P :lol:

[Win7nerd]

ill find more :uhoh:

:read: