Poor Monkey

[Horace]

Nini went to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys ...

Threw a monkey to eat the peanuts, but every time a monkey peanuts into the bottom first. Then a chance to eat, Nini feel very sick to Paoqu Wen administrator, then a monkey why this strange behavior.

Administrator explained: because last year was throw him a big peach to eat, the results can not be sinking, the sub-major peach smooth discharge from the bottom, he killed tragic matter, so he must first food into the bottom Liangliang Kan, determine You can pull out only dare eat.

[PurplebeanZ]

I think this a derivative of this joke:

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.

The bartender says "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!! GET OUT NOW!!" so the man picks up the monkey and leaves.

Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it.

The bartender says " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?"

The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"

[Elite2k]

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar.

FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!

So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her."

The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"