Win7nerd Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 DEMOCRATYou have two cows.Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful.You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.REPUBLICANYou have two cows.Your neighbor has none.So?SOCIALISTYou have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.COMMUNISTYou have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk.You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour.CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLEYou have two cows.You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLEYou have two cows.Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.AMERICAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one..You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.You are surprised when one cow drops dead.You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.Your stock goes up.FRENCH CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.You go to lunch and drink wine.Life is good.JAPANESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school.GERMAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.ITALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows but you don't know where they are.You break for lunch.Life is good.RUSSIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You have some vodka.You count them and learn you have five cows.You have some more vodka.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.TALIBAN CORPORATIONYou have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.IRAQI CORPORATIONYou have two cows.They go into hiding.They send radio tapes of their mooing.POLISH CORPORATIONYou have two bulls.Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.BELGIAN CORPORATIONYou have one cow.The cow is schizophrenic.Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.The cow asks permission to be cut in half.The cow dies happy.FLORIDA CORPORATIONYou have a black cow and a brown cow.Everyone votes for the best looking one.Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.Some people vote for both.Some people vote for neither.Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow.CALIFORNIA CORPORATIONYou have millions of cows.They make real California cheese.Only five speak English.Most are illegal.Arnold likes the ones with the big udders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambrocious Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 TECHNOCRACY CORPORATIONYou have a million brain dead cowsThe cows all watch and believe what they hear on mainstream mediaThey can't think for themselves and believe that they are chicken cyborgs from Planet Pop-TartIt is an udder disasterOLIGARCHY CORPORATIONYou have no cows, but you can pet themThe rich guys owns the farms and forces you to milk themYou work so hard you die and are burried in a remote location secretlyYour face is put on the back of a 1980's "missing person" milk carton but never seen because it is 2012CRONY CAPITALISM CORPORATIONYou THINK you have some cows...maybeBig corporations KNOW they have cowsYou don't realize that the cows are clonedYou die from some weird mutation later on in life due to GMO cowsMEGALOMANICAL CORPORATIONCows are god likeYou always lose in a martial arts fight against them (unless you are Chuck Norris)They produce the finest of milk and if you drink it it's like getting really high from pot, but you die from an overdose of the "supposed" godliness quality of milk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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