Noddy Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 How To Shower Like a WomanTake off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.Get in the shower.Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.Shave armpits and legs.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.Get out of shower.Dry with towel the size of a small country.Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a ManTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.Look at your manly physique in the mirror.Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.Get in the shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap..Wash your hair.Make a Shampoo MohicanWee.Rinse off and get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.Admire willy size in mirror again.Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.Throw wet towel on bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donaldo Posted November 3, 2008 Share Posted November 3, 2008 :) Noddy, when did you try the first one? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizarre™ Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Nice ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackLine Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Nice and REAL!You did totally center the point... BULLSEYE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nessjirval Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 how did this came up to you to set it on the forum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizarre™ Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 how did this came up to you to set it on the forum?Because... he's the man :win: or woman? ;) :lmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noddy Posted November 5, 2008 Author Share Posted November 5, 2008 :) Noddy, when did you try the first one? :welcome:how did this came up to you to set it on the forum?Because... he's the man :dance2: or woman? :think: :lmao: :D . . . . . . . good potshots, both you guys!!!!skippy1, I really can't make out whether you enjoyed my post or found it in poor taste. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nessjirval Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I enjoyed it :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noddy Posted November 8, 2008 Author Share Posted November 8, 2008 Well skippy1, in that case . . . . . . . . . . . . . thanks to you, too!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.