Rudeboy2025 Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 The Duck and the CondomTwo honeymooning ducks are staying in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, "We don't have any condoms. I''ll call room service." So he calls and asks for condoms. The receptionist says, ''''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?'''' ''''No,'''' he says, ''''I''ll suffocate!''''Sumo KamikazeThree men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.The Scot jumped off and shouted ''God save Scotland!''The English man jumped off and shouted ''God Save England!''The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted ''God save the person who I land on!''Bad FoodA Doctor was addressing a large audience:"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long- term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake.Satanic StarbucksA man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity.The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room, and they moved on.The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Back on your heads!" Bill and HillaryBill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game. Before the game began a secret service man came up to him and whispered in his ear. Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out on the field. The secret service man came running up to him and said, "Mr. President Sir, I think you misunderstood me, I said throw out the first pitchMan's Best FriendTwo guys are looking a dog lick its balls and one says "Man, I wish I could do that." The other guy says, "Really? I think I'd just pet him first." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomez Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 3,4,5,6 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonHead2089 Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 :lol: haha that Bill and Hilary one was funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SliverSamuel Posted August 15, 2005 Share Posted August 15, 2005 ha ha, all of them funnie to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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