{Joke} Man in the Pub

[Bolt_Gundam510]

A man in a pub finishes his pint and tells his friends he's been warned from the wife to get home early.

His friend advises him on how to deal with situations like this to keep both parties happy. He says "When you get home, tip toe up to the bedroom and crawl under the duvet from the bottom of the bed and give your wife the greatest oral sex she's ever had or ever likely to have again.. Once you have brought her to orgasm there is no way she'll be in a bad mood with you"

The man agrees that this is a great idea that can't go wrong so he orders up another round of drinks for him and his mates. A couple of hours and several pints later the man staggers home to find his house in complete darkness. He eventually unlocks the door, stumbles in and makes his way to the bedroom. He then takes his friends advice and slides up the bed from under the duvet, lifts his wifes nightdress and gets to work.

After a good 10 minute session and some satisfied noises from the top of the bed he decides job done and nips through to the bathroom to give his face a wash.

When he opens the door he's shocked to find his wife sitting on the bog having a pee.. "What the fuck are you doing in here!?" he cries... "Quiet" whispers his wife... "You'll wake your mother up"