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[JOTD] Joke of the day

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Lost in translation....

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I'm still waiting for jokes, no offence but this is not the Amazing Photo of the Day thread! ;)

All previous images, posted by me or not, are actually jokes. None of these jokes are appropriate to the page "Amazing Photo of the Day", which has the purpose of showing cool and interesting pictures (usually not related to mood). Jokes are not only funny texts, but comics, puzzles, etc. The 3rd post created by the author of the page (@rudrax) makes it clear: //www.nsaneforums.com/topic/164933-jotd-joke-of-the-day/?do=findComment&comment=559233. ;)

We wait for the others to post more textual jokes. But need to be funny to everyone and not just for himself. ;)

Edited by Astron
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In the morning Tom calls to his boss:

- Good morning, boss, unfortunately I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."

The boss replies:

- You know Tom, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that.

2 hours later Bob calls:

- Boss, I followed your advise, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house.

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One day during the family lunch the youngest son Paul asks his father:

- Daddy, what is the difference between potential and reality?

Daddy turns to his wife and gives her a question:

- Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?

- Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity, - tells the wife

Daddy turns to his teenage daughter:

- Maria, would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?

- Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.

Daddy turns to his eldest son Raul and asks:

- Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!

Eldest son thinks a little and replies:

- Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.

Then daddy turns back to his youngest son Paul and explains him:

- You see, Paul, potentially we are sitting with multi millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…

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Man returns home and screams out loudly:

- Honey, pack your things, I've won million today!

Wife comes to the wardrobe and asks:

- What kind of clothes to take with me? Summer or winter?


- All of them and get out of here!

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Teacher : Hamesha kaho ki mujhe sab pata hai.

Chotte : Papa mujhe sab pata hai ;-)

Papa : beta ye 50 ruppee le aur chup rehna.

Chotte : Mummy muje sab pata hai ;-)

Mummy : beta ye 100 ruppee le aur chup rehna.

Chotte (nokar se): Raamu kaka mujhe sab pata hai ;-)

Ramu kaka : Aa mera beta apne baap ke gale lag jaa..!! :-P
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