Jump to content

[JOTD] Joke of the day

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 5.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Karlston


  • aum


  • polinom00


  • flash13


Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Couple of decades ago, one of the husbands was working abroad and wrote a letter to his wife. He wrote: My dear love, A lot of love from me. In this month, I've sent 100 kisses instead of salary. Ple

Johnny's Thinking    


 One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.

"Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about.


Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red." Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple."

The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking."


Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish." Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks.

"No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replys.


Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard." By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."


Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got a head on it." "Johnny!"

she cries. "That's disgusting!"

"Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

"Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." 

"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." 

"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!"

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/17/2020 at 9:56 PM, Karlston said:


this MIGHT only be funny for isolated people (Australia, Canada, Siberia, Island, Sicily etc.)... for people who made all the fuss about this thread and rightfully so. this is just sad and retarded...

if you don't get it, don't worry... just wait a few years... it'll either be funny or really sad.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.

While they were there, the wife passed away.  The undertaker told the husband: "You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." 

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

 The undertaker asked: "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?" 

The man replied: "Long ago a man died here, was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead."

Shaking his head, he continued: "I just can't take that chance."

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. The car broke down. 


The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke." 


The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."


  The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system." 


All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" 


The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."

Link to post
Share on other sites

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Link to post
Share on other sites

My cats kept chewing on electrical cords, so i had to de-fuse the situation and ground them. They're doing better currently and conducting themselves properly. Potentially, they now have the capacity to show resistance in future. Now that's a load off my mind.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom, and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Create New...